To'Marcus Kelly December Guest Poet

 Dreamt Of Us

I see us from the start

Strolling parks, light and dark

Our hands held like handhelds.

We cuddle under stars

Kissing hearts, man a part

Without you I feel failed.

They see our loving art

Charming sparks, loved our marks...

Now awake to exhale. 

Now awake to exhale

Without you I feel failed

Our hand held like handhelds.

Charming sparks, loved our marks...

Kissing hearts, man a part

Strolling parks, light and dark.

They see our loving art

We cuddle under the stars

I see from the start.

Self Apology Accepted

I apologize to myself for enduring bullshit for oh so long.

Faced in the mirror, voices i hear em clearer... Saying, "hey you're right... You're on..."

Mediate to escape my own madness. Male version of Anne Frank im in a attic.

Im an addict of writing, composing, enlightening... 

With prolific creativity that's inspiring. 

And that's beyond the highest height of heights and deeper than depth to be.

Beyond arms can reach.

Beyond the eyes can see.

Low as in gravity.

Go further then winning..

That's imagining...

Those wise, wondering, witty, wandering, wonderful, whimpering, whistling, whispering words need out of storage.

Even a nobody is a somebody to somebody and you love let em know it.

Peruse into you, you're a poet's poet.

Keep fighting to live, live to survive.

Keep trying to seek, when its not in front of your eyes.

To grow like a plant, ya need a lil dirt.

Can't steal to home plate with ya foot on 3rd.

Forget 1st place, Im cool with 3rd

Because accomplishments are gained by you putting in work.

11:57PM 

As I sit back against the wall laying, 

     Amazing Lilac candle burns on the floor. 

          Thinking to myself, focus no playing. 

               The time is now and I'm bond to score. 

                     Dig in! Notice the potential within. 

              For its meaning is very purposeful. 

       Leave earth inspiring a soulful sin. 

            Essential to give is quite merciful. 

     Know your worth and value the success gained. 

          Take aim and soar, you practice what you preach. 

                I tell myself as well to do the same. 

        We all are authors and teachers that teach. 

              If you don't risk a chance, chance the risk; 

       Endure appreciation when you miss.

Unassailable

A genius knows when he is a genius.

Juggernaut ideas autodidact.

Love and beauty mold me just like Venus.

Tho not a Goddess, a God I am that.

My words can catch lightning in a bottle.

Word phrase faced the amaze maze of world pains.

Unleash the poet beast full throttle.

Start to finish begin to ending rains

Pouring clouds keep me down without a smile.

The potential within, sought out by friends.

Mending hearts is how I channel my dial

By tattooing my paper with ink pen.

No Raven, No Poe, No Lenore to love.

Not even Captain Walt, No Hughes Harlem

Can be measured up to my ink enough.

My unlit wick don't need lit for stardom.

Tho branches cut, you can't kill my roots.

Boom, I slipped, and slid into my conscious...

"There you are... Great gentle giver...

Think what you want, but continue to think right. It's ok to be upset. You haven't failed you yet. You're loved with and by an abundance of folks whom haven't even endured you yet. What is it going to take, to light your wick because it's risky to not take a risk? The light bulb been on, haloing above your head, you keep finding ways to hit the switch and quit. You're at the intersection of teary troubles, beer goggles, and frozen feelings. You see yourself like a man whom stands upon a hill above the town you left. Barrier breaker, tremendous trendsetter and indubitably the best kept secret you know; go reveal your best kept secrets you know. You won't be surprised as much as they will be."

Ceiling fan hums, pumpkin spice candle burns

As the sun settles to say goodnight moon.

Decisions to be made, work, play, or learn.

My burning desire will heat like June.

The Window

The window had other views, but not to many. Primarily her and my eyes. Real eyes realize real lies and truths.Stuck in a daze, staring at the world outside my window...

This window...The window...

Where i used to kiss her goodbye and id get to the driver door and grab the handle and i turn around... Yep..to see her Angelface staring back at me... Blowing me a kiss. I can still see her blowing her breath on the window... 

This window... We built...

Her breathing on the window and drawing a circle and placing my name inside it. I knew what the name inside the circle meant. If you love someone put their name in a circle instead of a heart bcuz hearts break and circles never end... Yea.. This window...

I sprayed your perfume on me at this window, where our lips hugged often. The window showcased our Christmas tree to the outside world. This window... Yea...

Will be lonely. And your rocking chair still rocks with me while silence still sings.

This window now has my back like my shadow and since you been gone the bedroom and bed doesnt exist. I'd rather lie here and reminisce about the joy we had looking through this window. We birth more fires inside than outside. 

Ill still and forever kiss this window...The window...

Ill still and forever hug this window... The window...

Ill still forever love this window...The window...

See you in the morning...

Goodnight I Love You Window.

It Will Get Better

Oh my sweet dear. Your cry, ill always hear. Our physical love cut short due to a cancerous entity which came so unexpectedly. 

I'm still here with you, next to you...I got your back like your shadow too. Unfortunately, my visible is your incapability to see. You can't see me like oxygen, we breathe.

But I seen you seen me take my last breath. And me seeing my last image of your face, actually eased me and took my breath away.

I carefully and softly and gently float around watching you stare off into our bathroom mirror and the mirror of our dresser. 

Where the left half resides all your colognes from biggest to smallest and the right side my perfumes organized the same. Matching smell goods... You rocked the Mens version Dolce and Gabana (Light Blue) and I would the women's.

Since I been gone you still do that...its cute. I've seen you spray my perfume and walk through the romantical mist of scent...but daily now you spray both your wrist. You spray your left wrist with your cologne and your right wrist with my perfume.

It will get better...

I see you started back smoking after quiting for 24 years. Well you postponed your smoking instead of quitting. I knew you wasnt a quitter. You always finish what you start with sincerity and clarity and sense or humor. I don't blame you one bit my Love. But you have to quit puttering around and still live your amazing life.

It will get better...

I see you nightly curled up by the fireplace, lit or not with Snugglez, who whimpers more than bark and you lie there and stare out our huge window we built. Yea...that window...The Window. 

And before you go to bed, you do the sweetest thing. You go to our bedroom, turn on the manikin black netted leg nightstand lamp and you... You carefully...softly...gently sit on your side of the bed and look at my untouched pillow and covers and the body imprint i last left...

And you talk to me as if I was lying right there. Afterwards, you get up with a sense of care, pushing yourself forcefully upward with your hands on your knees and walk around to my side of the bed to ease down to smell my pillow and kiss it goodnight. This is why I chose you, because you fell in love and still in it and reminisce about the world inside and out that window. The Window...It will get better...

When that HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU song plays, know it's me that your still twirling around.

To’Marean Sonnet

As my body lay me down,

Silence starts singing to me.

To the moon shape that is round,

Quiet night life melodies.

Life is on a move just like a greyhound.

Thought in my mind as my eyes take their bow,

To the moon shape that is round;

Needing more sleep than the time will allow.

Now sleep to slip up in a dream now crowned,

By the moon shape that is round.

I awake to myself, silence still sings;

Sequin scene lights lit blinding,

Thinking of my dream because one light beamed.

Where Are They

I'm right here...on your head.

It's crazy how I can see you better than you can see me.

How can you not feel me?

Why don't you stop rushing and running all over the house and look in the mirror for crying out loud...Why pout? 

I'm right here...on your head,

Where you always seem to leave me.

Nope...not ever am i in your purse...i still don't understand why you look in there every time. You start to pull out items one-by-one...

Old and new bank receipts, makeup kit, clear lip gloss, red nail polish, red lipstick, a bottle of Tylenol, Apple Blue Tooth ear piece...etc

And then you flip your purse upside down and yell out, "I had to clean out my purse anyways!"

Nope not in there.

I'm right here...on your head.

She gets up an hour earlier than normal on Monday for work because it's the busiest day.

Turn on the news, take the 2 smally ally whimpering four leggers out, walk around brushing teeth, kiss honey out the door for work, and then makes her own Caffe Mocha with a small drop of honey, a splash of ginger ale and always 2 marshmallows.

All is delighting and seems tranquil, but yet exciting, until she looks at the time and start to panic.

"Keys, purse, 50 Shades of Grey book to continue reading, barkers that moan are in their cage, everything is turned off, and got my lunch bag...oops shit what did I do with my glasses?!?" 

I'm right here tangled in your hair, when i should be placed in front of your eyes. 

I'm right here...on your head.

I don't think, but I see i need to start being assembled and modified with a sensor chip, so i could be found easer. Sometimes common sense doesn't make sense and sometimes when you think, you actually don't think at all. It's quite comical.

I will always rock with you as long as you don't break or crack my vision or run me over or leave me behind at a slot machine at the casino again.

Leave me where im desired and destined to be...

On your face, held by your nose and ears, front of your eyes to see...

If you could hear me, you'd get tired of what over and over I've said...

I'm tired of watching you look for me, as I'm right here...on your head.

Where are your glasses?!?

My name is To'Marcus Kelly. I'm 37 years old from Michigan City, IN. I was the 1st black student here to receive The Outstanding Technical Student of the Year Award. I went to Indiana University (Bloomington) and earned a General Studies BA Degree and 3 Minors in African-American Studies, Informatics, and Creative Writing. I'm part of a writing workshop here held at the Lubeznik Arts Center and have been for the last 4 years. I am currently working on my 1st poetry book.