"Sweet Caroline" and the Apocalypse

By John Homan

Benny Crandall had been walking for days. He was hungry, thirsty and his feet hurt. The plains of what had used to be Kansas went on forever. Fields of the remains of irradiated corn had slowly fallen away row by row until only a few volunteers stood at attention.

He hadn't seen people for days, but the last time he had were the road crews that chased him off the interstate with a hungry look in their eyes when he told them he had nothing to give them. He dropped his backpack and just kept running. That was two days ago.

 As he crested the hill on a generic county road, he saw what used to be a town. There were several streets and the remains of a picturesque downtown, but now the buildings were rubble and nothing moved. Burnt out cars and the odd skeleton littered what was left of the street. Across the valley was a Super Mega J Mart that looked untouched. He could see lights on at the entrances, and several bright lights in the parking lot. They had just started opening all over the country before the world had...changed. 

Maybe his luck had changed for once. If nothing else, maybe he could find a place to get a good night's sleep, or that luxury of luxuries, a can of Spaghettio-s with meatballs, one of the few things that tasted good cold. It could be a trap, but he didn't care anymore. Either his luck would hold or he'd find relief in death, that was his state of mind. He was bone tired and desperate.

He didn't even sneak into town, he just walked right down the main street and walked right up to the front doors of the Super Mega J Mart, which were covered with titanium shutters. Speakers played music outside the well-armored doors. He stopped and listened to the music for about five minutes. It was "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. He hated that song and not just that song, but somehow he had developed an irrational hatred of all things Neil Diamond, (except for some reason he liked "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show").

The thing was after he had lived so long with death and bloodshed as normal life, this stupid song was like a songbird flying into a prison camp. It was like Charles Bukowski's Bluebird that he kept hidden inside. Benny had forgotten how beautiful music was, even songs he considered bad. Finally, he shook himself out of it and reached for the door. It was locked, and a blue wave rolled across the shutters, giving him a mild electric shock, but not overly unpleasant, just like it was meant to get his attention. The music stopped and a pleasant electronic female voice came over the speakers saying, "I'm sorry we are closed at this time. Please return during regular hours." Then the music returned.  He sat there and listened for a while. Thinking to himself how much he hated Neil Diamond, even though it made him happy to listen to any music.

Benny thought about the present world, how sad and cruel it was. "Sweet Caroline" was from another time, when drunk people from Boston would scream it out during the seventh-inning stretch at Fenway Park; it was too happy for this present world. As that thought went through his brain, he felt a strange feeling in his brain, like the shock, but not unpleasant. The music stopped, a pleasant beep was heard, and the music changed to "Overkill" by Men at Work. One of his favorite anthems to loneliness. He sat there and wept until the song was over, the dirt on his face cleansed by the tears. He felt almost joy just to let the sadness out of the insides for once in so long.

Wiping his face off with his sleeve, Benny knew he had to get into this place. There was power, music, and probably supplies inside. It was the only place showing any kind of life for almost five years on the road. He began to walk around the building. Maybe there was an employee entrance or an open dock door. Around the back, there were dead bodies eaten away to mostly bones strewn around the docks and the employee parking lot. Looks like he wasn't the first one to try getting in, either that or the road crews had come into this town and were unable to get in and took it out on the people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Before going through the bodies, he checked the doors and the docks, hoping something would be open, but he found every door locked with a panel with a blue light outside waiting for some type of key. He had lived in this new world for so long, dead bodies were not the shock they had once been. Going through them was just a normal part of this new life. The road crews had taken this to a whole different level and had entered into cannibalism. Many of the bodies were missing legs and arms for this reason.

Benny apologized to the bodies for further dishonoring their deaths, that always made him feel slightly more human. He would have buried them, but that amount of energy and sadness would have taken over what life he had left. 

Over by the corner of the employee parking lot, he found a body of a skinny man hiding behind his car, but in the back of his head you could see a rock had crushed his head, but they did not search him or cut off any limbs. They probably had enough by then and wanted to get out of town since they couldn't get into the store.

Benny turned over his body and found a plastic keycard on a lanyard around his chest, a big ring of keys and a wallet with the name "Jerry Winston". There were pictures of a family that had faded. Jerry had been here almost five years. Benny took the clip-on tie that still survived and put it on his shirt collar. The ring of keys opened the car trunk and there was a briefcase that said Super Mega J Mart on it and a tire iron, which Benny stuck in his belt-these were hard to find and an all-purpose utility tool.
            Approaching the employee door that looked like the office entrance, Benny held up the card to the blue light.  It made a pleasant bing and then the blue light scanned his face and he felt that strange feeling in his head again.  Somewhere, he could barely hear music from inside. He wasn't sure but if he didn't know any better it was the song, "I Know There's Something Going On" by Frida becoming slightly louder as the door opened. The door opened and Benny walked into a dark hallway that instantly flooded with light. The door behind him slammed, and bars came out of the ceiling and the side of the wall, trapping him. The volume of the speakers increased to a deafening roar...so much for sneaking in.

The door ahead opened and a large machine on wheels with blue lights covering its top top rolled up in front of him as the light blinded him. A slightly artificial voice that sounded like a veteran nun teacher at a Middle School, began to interrogate Benny, "Who are you? You are not Jerry. Why are you here?"

Benny knew he wasn't smart enough to fool this machine. No amount of quick talking could make up for an actual brain scan. He told them the story of his recent life and the world in general. He explained he was just looking for food and shelter and would do any job necessary. The music faded out for a few minutes as the robot considered him, with small periods running across their display as if they were downloading something. Somewhere the music changed to the Eurythmics song, "Would I Lie to You Honey?". At least the music system had a sense of humor. The screen processed for a while. He felt the scanning in his head again, then the machine finally made a decision, "Well, Mr. Crandall, you have no criminal records in old data systems. Your story appears honest according to your lie detector test. The one record I found about you said that you were a night janitor at a hospital and there were no complaints regarding your work. There is much work to do here if we are ever going to open again. You will sleep in the stockroom, you will have access to emergency food, clothes, and tools. In exchange, you will handle maintenance, cleanings, restocking, and limited security duties. Your room and board will be the majority of your pay, but you will have a certain amount of credit to buy things from the store. Is this an acceptable arrangement?"
"Yes, that's acceptable."

The blue machine unlocked the bars and issued a new ID card from a slot in their chest and scanned his right-hand thumb as a backup entry method.

"What do I call you? You're obviously my supervisor." The machine processed again with periods scrolling on the display.

"Call me Jenny...I am the mobile peripheral that assists customers and staff. I draw attention to sale items for promotions and am a security robot as well."

"It's nice to meet you, Jenny. Is there anyone else here? Are you the one that changes the music when I think about things?" At this point, the Tommy Tutone song, "867-5309" began playing through the speakers.

"No, that is controlled by the AI called BLU who is located in the security office upstairs. Besides handling much of the day-to-day operation, she scans the minds of humans in the building to determine what music will put them in the correct mood to buy things, and also make this a happy store. There has been no music for a long time since there have been no humans to play it for or scan. I must say that I'm becoming annoyed by the change, I don't like music. It's just noise to me"

"That's too bad you feel that way. The music was one of the things that made me decide to come here. This music is one of the last remaining pieces of human culture I've found in the wasteland. Music brings joy, love. and real emotions to a very bad place. "  Jenny turned and looked at him with her camera, and said simply, "I understand. Let's go get you settled in for the night. It's too late to start any work today. " Benny followed her and as they walked the music changed again to "Mexico" by James Tayor. He looked at her for a second. "I wasn't thinking about that song, why is she playing it."

"BLU has been without human input for a long time. She's trying to figure out what you like. Music is only one of her positions here, but it seems it's always been what's been missing since the store never had the grand opening and people never shopped here."

"Well, tell her I like that James Taylor song if you see her."

A low poppy beep came out of the speakers. "No need, she's always listening. She said thank you."

Just like a stern teacher or nurse, Jenny was good at taking care of people. After getting him some food and sending him to the break room to eat while she prepared his new quarters. She set up a bed in the stock room with clean sheets,  blankets, and a fluffy pillow. On the bed stand was a bottle of water, a remaindered romance novel, and a stuffed fuzzy armadillo. "I didn't know what you would need so I tried to remember what humans use when sleeping".   

"Thanks, Jenny. This is really nice…"

"You're welcome...there is a shower in the restroom near the docks and I put soap, shampoo, and towels in there...and a toothbrush." Benny nodded politely and headed to the bathroom to clean up

Returning there was a set of pajamas and a set of clothes for the morning. It was obvious the PJ's were from the bargain area, but he hadn't had clean clothes to sleep in for years. He turned out the light and said in a loud voice, "Goodnight Jenny, goodnight BLU!". He heard Jenny somewhere, but he heard that low beep from BLU again, and then at a lower volume he heard "Paradise" by Coldplay as a lullaby. He was out in no time with a mostly dreamless sleep except for music flowing through his mind in ways he had never felt before.

            Seven AM came early, but not totally without mercy. A light triangle tinged several times as a polite prelude, yet Benny did not stir. Several minutes later, there were drums...lots of floor tom drums and bass drums to be exact, followed by growling trumpets and saxophones. Benny recognized, "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Benny Goodman.

"I'm up BLU! You can turn it down a little!"

It reduced in volume, but he did grin and felt alive and ready to go. He was greeted by Jenny in the breakroom, giving him tokens for the coffee machine and a granola bar, along with a printout of things to do for the day.

Benny had a Super Mega J Mart jumpsuit and a baseball cap in the same color of blue as Jenny's light. She showed him around the store and gave him a super-advanced maintenance and cleaning cart that he loved. For the last five years, he had no purpose other than to survive and keep out of danger, and now, he was working.

Days led into weeks, weeks led into months, and on and on and Benny was happy. BLU listened to his thoughts, playing a mix of music that always paired with his mental state, causing his feelings to equalize and tend towards...something close to joy. It didn't matter the job, dusting, washing, even cleaning toilets left fetid for ten years was a pleasure.

Friday nights after work, Jenny issued Benny one generic lite alcoholic adult beverage, and he and Jenny and BLU sat in the security office watching the collection of defective packaged movies from the bargain area on the security camera monitors. While BLU had a pure blue hologram form, she was shaped like a normal human. But strangely enough, she had no voice like Jenny, simply a small floating display and various tones that made more sense as time went on. However, on Friday nights,  BLU actually began to make a sound combining her various tones into something similar to laughing sometimes during comedies, Benny suspected she was trying to imitate him.

Jenny however always wanted to discuss the actions of humans in dramas, as a part-time HR assistant she had more than a passing interest in sociology. At first, Benny felt like an experiment to them, like a rat in a maze who also cleaned the urinals, but he soon forgot about it. That sort of mental energy was in short supply, he just wanted to be useful and get along with the people he had in his life. The apocalypse was no place for that kind of politics. if he was a rat in a maze, he was well-fed, clean, and safe, that was good enough for now. 

They were his friends, they listened to him and were interested in his thoughts. Even though BLU had no voice, she knew more about him than anyone else. When Benny thought of his last girlfriend who just disappeared like so many other people during the apocalypse, BLU played "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor. When he thought of the girl in eighth grade he took to the prom, slow danced with, and kissed outside the gym waiting for his mom to pick them up, BLU played "Your Kiss Is On My List" by Hall and Oates. Whatever he thought of, the story was familiar enough to BLU that she showed her understanding by music and words that expressed all he knew. Even when he caught himself lingering over a lingerie catalog he found hidden in the dock restroom, somehow BLU played "Brick House" by the Commodores, as Benny quickly shoved it back into the hiding place he had found it. Sometimes when he couldn't sleep at night, there were times BLU played "Linger" by the Cranberries and it always made him feel less lonely.

Life went on for some time like this. But finally, Jenny began to falter. She hid it from them by doing her own self-repairs, changing what programming she could, but she was not as fast on her wheels, and her speech unit began to stutter on occasion.

Finally, one morning she was not there to brief Benny in the morning. Benny went searching for and the music was off, replaced by a mournful tone. He finally found her, plugged into her charging unit with one blue bar left on her power display.

"Benny...I don't have much time. Hiring you was the best decision we ever made. You've prepared the store to open. I have transmitted our ready code and salary raise requests for you to Headquarter-s-s-s-s. Ta-a-ake care of BLUUU...Uuuuhhhrrr a g-o-o-o-od friiiinnd...:"

With that the blue light turned yellow, then red...then a key card popped out of her chest. Imprinted on it were the words, "Security Control Panel Master Key".

Benny kneeled beside her and cried for a long time. This was a robot...a computer, but it had been like his mom. She fed him, clothed him, chided him, and taught him to be a good worker. No one like Jenny and BLU had been as actually present in his life. No one cared in a more human way than these two machines. Finally, wiping his eyes, he stood up and walked away quickly. He needed to see BLU, or at least hear her. He felt so alone right now.

Running to the security office, up the stairs, he got there and BLU's hologram was standing there in front of him, reaching out what seemed like arms. Even though it meant nothing physically, it was all he had. Benny walked into her hologram-just to be near to the only other sentient intelligence in his world. They stayed there for five minutes, his body bathed in her blue light, her scanners moving through his mind in the most intimate of embraces possible between an AI and a human; he knew all there was to know about her, she loved music, wanted to understand people and was loyal but sarcastic. She knew him from his first remembered memories until now, what moved his emotions and his dreams in all their forms.

She stepped back slowly and pointed to a slot on the wall labeled "Control Panel Master Key". He walked towards it and inserted the card into the slot. A hologram screen appeared from BLU's apparatus with a woman in a silky dress suit who began to speak with a voice that was more than a little similar to Jenny's," Good Morning Benny, my name is Ms. Julia Nelson. I am the president of Super Mega J Mart. I've received excellent reports from our personnel on-site of your great job keeping the site ready for business to open. The good news is we are ready to start opening the stores again. Super Mega J Mart will become the first post-apocalyptic nationwide store to re-open, as we provide all the county's needs for the restoration of society! It's going to be very exciting. Because of the pristine condition of your store, I will be there to open it tomorrow and we want you to stay on, if you agree to,  as our maintenance manager and consultant. No one knows the store better than you, and you will be well repaid for all your hard work!"

Benny looked at the image for a second, then replied slowly, "Thank you...Ms. Nelson. It's been a pleasure. Especially working with Jenny and BLU. I've never had co-workers that I was so pleased with...But Jenny left us today. The truth is they saved my life…"

"Oh, that's kind of you to say. I know you had no one else around so you probably saw them more like people than most of us do. We are very pleased with those models. Luckily, we've improved both versions of those pieces of hardware. It's actually good timing that Jenny has expired. It will make things easier for the new model replacing her.

Speaking of replacing models, at midnight tonight we will turn off BLU for good and the new model will download into the system. I'll be there in the morning with the crew, I'm looking forward to shaking your hand. You've saved the Super Mega J Mart a lot of assets and we're glad to have you on our team. There's something important you need to do. As the Maintenance Manager, you need to get the informatics data implant after this call, right away, so you can download all of the experience of both of these pieces of hardware shared with you so that we can have an offsite backup if something should go wrong during the conversion and so that you can be the bridge between the old and the new systems.

 Like I said before, you'll be well compensated for this work. Just take the card down to HR and the computers will be able to handle the implant, even though Jenny is gone, and then use the card to download each unit's memories into your implant. You'll be able to recall anything instantly from both units."

Benny had looked nervous at the idea of deleting BLU, but then a calm look came over his face. "Thanks Ms. Nelson. I'll get right on that and look forward to seeing you in the morning. Any chance of bringing some fresh coffee. We're almost out of Instant here…"

"Call me Julia. You like bagels? I'll bring you a real breakfast and we'll work it all out in the morning over some french roast! Have a good night!", the screen disappeared.

Benny took the card from the slot and ran downstairs to the HR dept without looking at BLU. Like Julia said, the HR computer still worked, of course, After inserting the card, out of nowhere a helmet came down and covered Benny's head. He felt a numb shot behind his ear and then a slight bit of pressure and it was done. Behind his ear was a square metal panel that began speaking to him instructions in Julia's voice about how to use the device. He electronically signed agreements, but one of them was that he was the ultimate end-user of the data and could not be forced to give it up, once it was in his head, it was his unless he gave permission to remove it. He couldn't transmit the data to competitors, but the contents were the property of his body and soul now even if he left his employer as part of an international agreement on neural implants.

Benny rushed to Jenny first and followed the instructions to download her data. It went through without a hitch and was able to be done wireless. After that, Julia explained he wouldn't need her help as the process was identical for downloading BLU's data. Her voice and image disappeared from inside his head.

It took Benny five minutes to get Jenny's AI personality up and running. He explained to her what he wanted to do and she agreed to help him. She had suspected he would do something like this but for some reason, he could tell she was happy he made the decision.

The process took longer for BLU, she had expected to be simply archived but didn't understand why it took so much longer. It should have been ten minutes and took an hour as Benny sat in the security office watching her hologram standing in place. Finally, it was complete and her blue light disappeared from the room. Benny was spent. He left the room turned off the light and crawled into his bed, pulling the stuffed armadillo into bed with him.

The next day the crew arrived to open the store, complete with five armored troop carriers of private security forces bristling with weapons, all kinds of technicians, and general laborers. Julia showed up in a professional suit but it seemed to have soft armor plates built into it and a large black pistol at her side as the world was still dangerous. She was very pleasant and so happy with the condition of the store. "Because of your hard work, this store will be able to be a "retro-fashion" store, showing life before the apocalypse. We'll even build a cemetery out back to honor the Super Mega J Mart martyrs, along with a plaque to you!"

"Thanks Julia, I know they were just smart hardware, but could you put up a plaque about Jenny and BLU also? You know I couldn't have made it without their help."

"That's a good idea! Their hardware designs are still being marketed, and that would help make them seem like partners instead of just AI tools, You're just full of good ideas Benny!" she said as she walked off into the store offices.

            Benny stayed on in his bedroom in the stockroom for a few weeks until the store was online and then moved to a luxury apartment just built in town for the new employees of the store. The new model of BLU never scanned your mind and the new Jenny cared deeply about customer's opinions and took surveys constantly to improve customer experience.

            Benny continued to work as the maintenance manager for many years. He was always pleasant and mostly kept to himself. Sometimes on Friday nights, he would sit out behind the store in a lawn chair drinking some type of beverage, watching a small telescreen. He made the strangest laughing noises sometimes, and if you didn't know any better you could see a strange blue light reflected in his eyes when he was really happy. Most people assumed it was just a problem with the old-style neural implant that he received, at least that's what he always told them as he went about his work always singing some old song that none of the new employees had ever heard before.